Piranha DD : Review

Okay so I know this is a bit late seeing as this movie came out in 2012 but here is my review regardless. I watched this movie yesterday on my day off. It was a pretty nasty day out so I had nothing much better to do other than to do a SyFy movie marathon and this is one movie I had yet to see.

The cast includes: Danielle Panabaker as Maddy who studies marine biology and is co owner of a water park along with her ex-step father played by David Koechner as Chet.

Chet has  decided to turn the water park into an adult themed attraction in a section of the park featuring as the movie calls them water certified strippers. As you can imagine this is where the audience sees an eye full of large breasts swing to and fro in the skimpy bikini's. I was not bothered by this in the slightest after all it is summer time and we are all adults and can see this in any public swimming park. Maddy on the other hand wants to see the park as just a regular water park, which causes strife between the two.

This all takes place after the horrific attacks of the prehistoric piranhas introduction to Lake Victoria which was the set of the original movie. Somehow these vicious critters with an outrageous appetite have found their way into nearby lakes rivers and ponds. As a handful of attacks begin to be reported, Maddy and her ex boyfriend now police officer, Kyle played by Chris Zylka and her good friend Barry played by Matt Bush are out to find the source of why the fish are being drawn to the water parks. Reprising his role as Mr. Goodman from the first movie Christopher Lloyd explains that the eggs emit a chemical that is found in chlorine and will draw the spawning fish into anything that has chlorine added to it. YIKES!!!!

Maddy, Barry and Kyle all take off to make sure the the outflow pipes have not been compromised. Maddy is attacked and barely makes it out alive, but now she knows for sure the pipes have not been chewed through and feels slightly better about the grand opening of the park.

In the meantime, four of Maddy's friends have went skinny dipping and one of these nasty lil fish makes it way into a young woman's vagina..... (ok, that is a bit unnecessary and highly ridiculous) then two other of the four are making out in a van and accident roll into the lake where they are quickly devoured by the hungry fish.... as the young woman who is now in serious pain from the crazy ass fish swimming through her body confesses to her boyfriend that if she is going to die she doesn't want to die a virgin ( we have all heard that one in other campy thrillers) and true to its form, the young man steps up to help the maiden out, however while they are in the midst of the devirginizing the young woman begins to convulse and suddenly the fish comes out and latches on to the unsuspecting young man's manhood! Ya, who didn't see that coming? The young man runs into the kitchen in hysterics and decides to cut the fish off, effectively severing his own manhood. As far as "fluff" for a movie this was acceptable and pretty humorous. This scene had me laughing and cringing at the same time.

Pressing forward, opening day has arrived and Chet has hired David Hasslehoff to be a guest lifeguard as a promotional stunt. A young boy approaches Mr. Hasslehoff believing he is a real lifeguard, and the two begin to have a conversation about how the boy has no clue who he is ( apparently this intrigues the big guy and he now keeps watching the kid.). As one can expect, soon all hell breaks loose and piranha begin to fill the pool and devour the guests.

Maddy bravely begins to try to help the visitors escape the pools, as Chet watches in horror knowing that he is now financially ruined.  Chet goes to the office and gathers up all the cash and intends to run off, however he comes across a little girl sitting beside her dead mother, he looks at her and says he's sorry and throws cash at her as he runs off and gets into his golf cart to make his escape. He backs up and runs over the little girl killing her then goes forward and runs her over again. As he is fleeing the scene he is caught off guard by a woman with extremely large fake breasts and doesn't see the low hanging flag banners which somehow slices his head clean off. Justice is served!

Hasslehoff, rescues the young boy and proudly declares he is a real life guard! Meanwhile Kyle refuses to help and tries to drag Maddy out of the park. Maddy ends up finding Barry and tells him to go drain the pool. Maddy ends up in the pool as it is being drained, and is sucked to the bottom of the pool while she is being eaten. Kyle now full on runs away and it's up to Barry to rescue Maddy, however he can not swim. Throwing all caution aside he jumps in anyway, but he quickly climbs back out. Barry finds his trident that is a part of his costume, and spears one of the last man eaters that comes at Maddy as she is stuck to the bottom of the pool, he nails his target and Maddy is saved from being eaten but not from drowning. Finally the water level begins to recede and Barry jumps in with a large cinder block to keep himself under the water to be able to get to Maddy. He pulls her to safety and performs mouth to mouth on her reviving her. She kisses him and then we see Kyle return to the scene and jump in screaming for Maddy as he pulls out a mostly eaten corpse. He looks over to see that Maddy was safe and now with Barry who he had been bullying the entire movie.

One of the workers who had been attacked by the fish, goes to the water pumps and throws some type of chemical down the tubes and throws a light joint in the mix, blowing up the fish. Unfortunately the trident that saved Maddy is blown sky high and comes down landing in Kyle's head.

A side note, two other former cast members reprise their roles from the first movie, one is  deputy Fallon who had his legs eaten off and the cheesy side kick slash cameraman Andrew, who are at the park to try to get over their fear of the water. Deputy Fallon now has titanium legs and enters the water and uses his prosthetic shotgun leg to kill some of the killer fish to help save a few more lives.

The ending shows the good doctor calling Maddy and telling her that they have now evolved into walking fish. She replies that she knows, the camera pans to the fish walking slowly out of the water and the young boy that had been rescued by Hasslehoff is recording the fish walking as his mother keeps telling the boy to get away from it. The boy tells his mom not to worry because they are slow on land and suddenly the fish lunges up and bites the boys head off in front of his mother and guests. End movie.

Okay, I was okay with this movie up until the very end scene. I found it to be in extremely poor taste to show this scene, it added absolutely no value to the movie in any manner. In fact I would not suggest this movie to anyone ever based on that one scene. Hey guys you had a decent campy horror/comedy up until that fatal mistake, you crossed the line, not to mention the running over the little girl not once but twice, that's not funny in the slightest.

All in all I give this movie a huge negative 10!!! Don't watch it.
That is my take and my review I literally have nothing else to say about this movie other than I am completely disgusted by it which says a lot seeing as though I love these types of movies.

Review Swaps

Here's a great idea, and I know some authors already do this but in my opinion not enough do. A review swap is simply just that. Authors share their books with each other and take the time to read the books then give out a review of the book. Honestly who better to give a professional review?

Writing is most of the time a competition: We all want to be ranked number one, however, we should be gracious and support one another as well. The top readers are of course authors (no I'm not saying that all readers are authors, what I am saying is that obviously authors are readers and seeing as though this is at times their main profession they would be considered top notch readers).

Writing should never be a competition between authors, each one of us knows how difficult it is to make it in this profession, so we all should be showing some support and reviewing each others books.

Give it a go, we all know another author, grab a copy of their book and leave a review. I do it, why aren't you?

Here is the link to my book The Immortal Design.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00WBRO0O2?*Version*=1&*entries*=0

If you want to do a book swap contact me.
Also, the book is $1.99 to buy as an eBook, or if you are a member of Amazon prime its free.

What do you want??

Okay people, I am asking you, what do you want to see more of here on The Cheeky Rooster?

1. More book reviews

2. More interviews

3. More personal stories

4. My daily rants?

5. My views on what's going on in the world???

You tell me what you would like to see more of!

Immortal Design

The Immortal Design by Angel Ernst



Please leave a review or rating I now how many free copies went out and how many were sold, with out ratings or reviews, there is no way to let others know how much you liked it, or even hated it.... show support for your authors We wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you.

**update** two reviews now in!

Oct 28, 2015K.c. Rice rated it 5 of 5 stars

OMG! Though this is not a genre I normally read. I could not put the book down.
The mystery and chemistry within the pages, intrigued me, making me what to hurry up and finish the book. And get the answers to my questions, yet when I was finished, i was disappointed. NOT in the story by any means, but in myself for being so impatient.
I wanted to slap myself. So what did i do? Yes, I went back and read it a second time.

Review by: Paul Zunckel on April 28, 2015 :  
This is an amazing story, a wonderful fresh approach to the Dracula Saga and it falls into the category of a real page turner, and that is what it did to me, as I had the privilege of reading The Immortal Design while the author was traveling down the dark road, and she kept me waiting for the next chapter, and wanting more.
The two main characters are really great, and the love that simmers under the surface of all the deceit,horror and history in the story will have you reaching out to them and supporting them as the story reaches its climax.
This is a very well written book, and the author put her heart and soul into it, and I wish her all the best. 
The Immortal Design will transport you into another world,and at the end of the journey, you will close the book, sit back and say,"Man that was a great read."

Great read. Couldn't put it down.

By Seven Steps Author on October 30, 2015

Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase

Jonathan is a typical high school kid, with a very strange lineage. Then his friend, Pete, goes missing, only to turn up in a hospital with a fantastic tale: Jonathan's girlfriend saved him from a wolf attack and carried him to the hospital.
Jonathan's girlfriend Willa, the new foreign exchange student, is exactly what she tells everyone she is, a vampire. When her past comes back to bite her, she must save Jonathen, even if it means sacrificing herself.

Great read with classic elements of Dracula, and Van Helsing.

My Video review of Seven Steps' Eve Ate The Apple Book 1 The Escape

The Escape : Eve Ate the Apple Book One; A Review

Wow where do I even begin with this one? I'll start with the words taken from the book cover: "A Forbidden Love. A Daring Escape. An Epic Adventure."- Seven Steps, Author.

Well that really about sums it up! This book truly has it all. I admit I am not one for Science Fiction, with that said, I am so overly happy that I got a chance to read this book and met with the Author Seven Steps.

It is a difficult thing to bring about a completely unique story, but Seven Steps has fully accomplished this with her book. I am almost at a loss for words after reading this story( I said ALMOST). So moving on. The story begins on a futuristic Venus where women are the rulers, and men are reduced to servants. Our two main characters adore their slaves, in fact they love them, one outright declares from the get go, although her slave knows all too well the consequences of their love will mean certain death for the both of them. The second character tries in vain not to care for her slave, but soon comes to realize that she has been kidding herself the entire time, she does love him, and will do anything to ensure his safety.

With out giving away too many spoilers (you will just have to buy the book and read for yourself what happens) there is a great escape and the women along with their slaves, and two mysterious children, are on the run. They time jump to Earth. Unfortunately they landed in the wrong era, and most definitely in the wrong place.. (how's the saying go? Out of the frying pot into the fire?? It's been too long for me to remember)

Peril and an unforeseen loss mixed with tragedy, war, and new found freedom make for an epic adventure. There is a mystery here that needs to be solved, our adventurers are loosing their memories, the only thing holding them together is the overwhelming sense, that they belong together through the bond of love and friendship.

I give this book 4.5 stars out 5. If Seven Steps, hasn't yet landed a book deal with a publishing company she really should be!! You will be hard pressed to find such a beautifully written well told story like this one. Move over Arthur C Clark, there's some new competition in town and the name  is Seven Steps!