It's About Time

I have been feeling, uninspired lately. I have gotten trapped in a cycle and it seems to me, that most of my viewers want to see nothing but posts about writing. When I started this blog, I had intended on using my voice for reviews and interviews, as well as talking directly to my viewers about ME and what's going on in my life, as well as sharing my advice or opinions that may affect my readers.

In this short time, I have completely and totally forgotten about me. That is just not OK. I completely and totally do this to myself in every aspect of life. I tend to get so wrapped up in helping others that I forget to have time for me, (this is just in my nature) and it takes it toll.

Today I am taking time for me and I am writing about me for a change. There are a lot of things going on in my life outside of this blog. Recently I had a minor procedure done to check for bladder cancer ( I had been waiting for over a month to hear if I did in fact have cancer of the bladder, all signs had been pointing to yes!!). Fortunately for me , they did not find any cancer, however, I have been diagnosed with Interstitial Cystitis. Well, you'd think that was good news, it really is not though. Life long severe pain of the bladder. It is manageable IF and that is a big IF, your insurance will cover the medication needed for this disease. Apparently mine won't cover it..... well screw me then! (I won't go on a rant about insurance companies dictating what patients can or can not have, I'll be on that rant for days!! ).

Moving on..... Through all of that, I work a regular full time job in a nursing home as well and I do it in pain each and every day. I keep it from my patients, because their needs outweigh my own.

I also have a young teenage daughter. Recently her grades have slipped, and she has been on an emotional roller coaster ( you call them boys, I call them ..... well never mind what I call some of them). It is a constant battle of wits with this one, as she is very much like me. It's pretty hard to fight with yourself (lol). I worry so much about her, that it makes my job(s) almost impossible. I constantly get messages from her asking if she can go here or do this and that, and when my answer is "No you have chores and homework to do first" its on like Donkey Kong! Yesterday I had to turn my phone off, I can't get it through her head that I am at work and can not keep getting messages while I am there. Lately, I feel like I should leave my job and stay home so I can be here for her, but I can not afford to do that. So what's a mother to do?? A very big problem that I have come to realize is that, some parents these days aren't old school like myself. Their children are allowed to run the streets and have absolutely no responsibilities! Where did we go wrong? I know back in my day, I hated how strict my parents were. I certainly don't want to be that bad, so I try my best to make it an even medium. With that being said, my daughter gets sh*t from other kids because I make her do chores, and ground her if she does not follow the rules. There is nothing more I can say, other then I would love to tell those kids off! I remind my daughter that these are life lessons she needs for when she is older and out on her own. I wonder if my words haven fallen of deaf ears? (probably)

You may be wondering why I am putting all of this out there. This is my answer. This blog is about me, in total, and I would love to see it go further so I can eventually be that stay at home mom, who can still earn a living. It is also about you. I know I am not alone, on any of the subjects, I write about. This is my medium. I can be me, and I can be there for you as well.

Thank you to all of you who have taken the time to read, and share my blog. Without you I would just be sitting here, writing to myself.