Okay so I know this is a bit late seeing as this movie came out in 2012 but here is my review regardless. I watched this movie yesterday on my day off. It was a pretty nasty day out so I had nothing much better to do other than to do a SyFy movie marathon and this is one movie I had yet to see.
The cast includes: Danielle Panabaker as Maddy who studies marine biology and is co owner of a water park along with her ex-step father played by David Koechner as Chet.
Chet has decided to turn the water park into an adult themed attraction in a section of the park featuring as the movie calls them water certified strippers. As you can imagine this is where the audience sees an eye full of large breasts swing to and fro in the skimpy bikini's. I was not bothered by this in the slightest after all it is summer time and we are all adults and can see this in any public swimming park. Maddy on the other hand wants to see the park as just a regular water park, which causes strife between the two.
This all takes place after the horrific attacks of the prehistoric piranhas introduction to Lake Victoria which was the set of the original movie. Somehow these vicious critters with an outrageous appetite have found their way into nearby lakes rivers and ponds. As a handful of attacks begin to be reported, Maddy and her ex boyfriend now police officer, Kyle played by Chris Zylka and her good friend Barry played by Matt Bush are out to find the source of why the fish are being drawn to the water parks. Reprising his role as Mr. Goodman from the first movie Christopher Lloyd explains that the eggs emit a chemical that is found in chlorine and will draw the spawning fish into anything that has chlorine added to it. YIKES!!!!
Maddy, Barry and Kyle all take off to make sure the the outflow pipes have not been compromised. Maddy is attacked and barely makes it out alive, but now she knows for sure the pipes have not been chewed through and feels slightly better about the grand opening of the park.
In the meantime, four of Maddy's friends have went skinny dipping and one of these nasty lil fish makes it way into a young woman's vagina..... (ok, that is a bit unnecessary and highly ridiculous) then two other of the four are making out in a van and accident roll into the lake where they are quickly devoured by the hungry fish.... as the young woman who is now in serious pain from the crazy ass fish swimming through her body confesses to her boyfriend that if she is going to die she doesn't want to die a virgin ( we have all heard that one in other campy thrillers) and true to its form, the young man steps up to help the maiden out, however while they are in the midst of the devirginizing the young woman begins to convulse and suddenly the fish comes out and latches on to the unsuspecting young man's manhood! Ya, who didn't see that coming? The young man runs into the kitchen in hysterics and decides to cut the fish off, effectively severing his own manhood. As far as "fluff" for a movie this was acceptable and pretty humorous. This scene had me laughing and cringing at the same time.
Pressing forward, opening day has arrived and Chet has hired David Hasslehoff to be a guest lifeguard as a promotional stunt. A young boy approaches Mr. Hasslehoff believing he is a real lifeguard, and the two begin to have a conversation about how the boy has no clue who he is ( apparently this intrigues the big guy and he now keeps watching the kid.). As one can expect, soon all hell breaks loose and piranha begin to fill the pool and devour the guests.
Maddy bravely begins to try to help the visitors escape the pools, as Chet watches in horror knowing that he is now financially ruined. Chet goes to the office and gathers up all the cash and intends to run off, however he comes across a little girl sitting beside her dead mother, he looks at her and says he's sorry and throws cash at her as he runs off and gets into his golf cart to make his escape. He backs up and runs over the little girl killing her then goes forward and runs her over again. As he is fleeing the scene he is caught off guard by a woman with extremely large fake breasts and doesn't see the low hanging flag banners which somehow slices his head clean off. Justice is served!
Hasslehoff, rescues the young boy and proudly declares he is a real life guard! Meanwhile Kyle refuses to help and tries to drag Maddy out of the park. Maddy ends up finding Barry and tells him to go drain the pool. Maddy ends up in the pool as it is being drained, and is sucked to the bottom of the pool while she is being eaten. Kyle now full on runs away and it's up to Barry to rescue Maddy, however he can not swim. Throwing all caution aside he jumps in anyway, but he quickly climbs back out. Barry finds his trident that is a part of his costume, and spears one of the last man eaters that comes at Maddy as she is stuck to the bottom of the pool, he nails his target and Maddy is saved from being eaten but not from drowning. Finally the water level begins to recede and Barry jumps in with a large cinder block to keep himself under the water to be able to get to Maddy. He pulls her to safety and performs mouth to mouth on her reviving her. She kisses him and then we see Kyle return to the scene and jump in screaming for Maddy as he pulls out a mostly eaten corpse. He looks over to see that Maddy was safe and now with Barry who he had been bullying the entire movie.
One of the workers who had been attacked by the fish, goes to the water pumps and throws some type of chemical down the tubes and throws a light joint in the mix, blowing up the fish. Unfortunately the trident that saved Maddy is blown sky high and comes down landing in Kyle's head.
A side note, two other former cast members reprise their roles from the first movie, one is deputy Fallon who had his legs eaten off and the cheesy side kick slash cameraman Andrew, who are at the park to try to get over their fear of the water. Deputy Fallon now has titanium legs and enters the water and uses his prosthetic shotgun leg to kill some of the killer fish to help save a few more lives.
The ending shows the good doctor calling Maddy and telling her that they have now evolved into walking fish. She replies that she knows, the camera pans to the fish walking slowly out of the water and the young boy that had been rescued by Hasslehoff is recording the fish walking as his mother keeps telling the boy to get away from it. The boy tells his mom not to worry because they are slow on land and suddenly the fish lunges up and bites the boys head off in front of his mother and guests. End movie.
Okay, I was okay with this movie up until the very end scene. I found it to be in extremely poor taste to show this scene, it added absolutely no value to the movie in any manner. In fact I would not suggest this movie to anyone ever based on that one scene. Hey guys you had a decent campy horror/comedy up until that fatal mistake, you crossed the line, not to mention the running over the little girl not once but twice, that's not funny in the slightest.
All in all I give this movie a huge negative 10!!! Don't watch it.
That is my take and my review I literally have nothing else to say about this movie other than I am completely disgusted by it which says a lot seeing as though I love these types of movies.
No comments:
Post a Comment